i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my being single is dangerous.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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