My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
honey bunches of taint.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
