Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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