Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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