We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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