sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
