A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
