I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize