He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
