so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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