ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
