Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
