I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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