he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize