I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
