is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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