He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
