There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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