Im at strip club and am horny
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
