You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
