I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize