I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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