hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
