i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
