I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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