Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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