Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
