ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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