So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
