Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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