The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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