that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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