I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
