I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize