I cockslap morals
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
