All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize