when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
do herpes really smell.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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