I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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