I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
