you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He has the fingertips of a God
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