You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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