okay pat passed out under dana's car
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
