i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
