I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
