pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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