Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
