..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
