Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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