It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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