So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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