need another drink. this is the easiest way
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
