If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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