brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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