Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
