Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
