pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
