If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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