i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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