I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
