I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dick very happy bro
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
