Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my sisters under your porch take her home
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Randomize
