I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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