Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Randomize
