Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
