Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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