either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
