OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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